"we are not transformed by looking inside ourselves, but by looking out at the splendor."

how many sayings are there.

the fog has been lifted.

the unknown has become the known.

doesnt matter. theres the general gist.

for now i see things differently. temporary? maybe. but permanently is what i aim for.

that part feels like its been torn off, and although i want it back in some perverse way, i also want to stomp it in the ground, tearing it up in the most vicious way.

do you get the feeling, that you want to know something. this... void. you make your assumptions about it, worst case scenarios included. but when you know the truth, you just wish you never found out in the first place. when the unknown has become the known and there is no way to ever forget. it all feels so real when its confirmed. so black and white. and it feels a lot worse then when you were just imagining 'what if'.

you will only know when i dont care anymore. so it'll be too late.