and chain of events
all the little pieces we break and amend,
I want to struggle free so badly, give my soul some kind of release
but looking at the train wreck
staring past it's winding path of destruction
somehow I see something beautiful, a masterpiece of sorts.

It's the realisation for the need to tear yourself apart,
away from all the complications
away from everything that you knew and everything that you were
and offer them so purely and be so completely exposed
to uncomplicate a convoluted matter.
to reconstruct is
to deconstruct.

i dont get how SOME ppl r SO fking HYPOCRITICAL N UP THEIR OWN FUKING ASSES THAT THEY SERIOUSLY HAVE THE FKING NERVE TO COMMENT ON UR BEHAVIOUR WEN THEIR OWN FUCKING BEHAVIOUR IS LIKE FKING WORSE. no not the normal ' i dont htink u shud do this ' kinda fkin shit but the one where they swear at u n then u find out they planned the same fkin thing way in advance.htf do u even have the FUCKING BALLS TO FKING COMPLAIN WEN UR DOING WORSE SHIT THEN PRETEND TO ME LIKE U FKIN GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY FEELINGS. its like fuck u. jz. fuck. u. W$#%#%#$%$ESZ #%B#$%

time to sleep :D wat a night. wat a night.

in the space of the month's time i was away from australia, i could say my life changed?

one holiday, a mark that will stay with me for life.

but i can say that i am probably handling my situation better then a lot of other people would.

i am not going to post a picture of what happened here, the people that come to this site should have seen it by now anyway.

but there was another thing, that will most probably stay with me for life too =)



i had this done on the 31st of january, with an old friend.

i always wanted a heart done, but had no idea whatsoever on the design. i originally had another design picked out but while they were finding the design on google i saw this one n said 'i want that one' n i changed the original snowflake that was inside to one that was one of my 'maybe' selection.

sure i guess u guys can say, that looks childish, has no meaning blabla. welll i cbb explaning the meaning, ive always just been fond of hearts and the idea of love. cheesy? whatever, its my body, its my pain.

the location might be odd, why so high up ppl ask. well, there is still the issue of my parents not knowing and literally killing me if they found out. i placed it in the middle of my bra and pants line so it would not be able to be seen [hopefully] like wen i sit down n my pants ride down or something. guess i can never swim with my parents again. wow totally useful to have a pool at home.

how was it. i am not going to lie and say 'yeah man im so brave, no pain'. it was painful. spine=pain. dint figure that one out til the needle went in me and i started squirming n she was telling me to relax. my first 2 minutes were 'omfg how am i going to sit through the whole thing'. but i did and it was a very long 1hr +

why did i do it. i always wanted a tattoo :) but what made me more determined to go through it was that i already had a mark on my leg which i did not want, im going to have something on me of my choosing. people say that i will regret the design because i kinda chose it impulsively over the net, but i say meh, its just skin. i cant even see it without a mirror or without 95% of the clothes i have. wen im old n wrinkly im not going to be walking arnd naked right?

i love my tatt. i dont care if you dont =)))




location : two thumbs tattoo studio
price : RM450 suckaaaaaahs

ps. if theres anyone here that shouldn't be, please dont tell my parents. unlike some ppl who exaggerate, my parents are psycho ragers and will literally kill me. kthxbye.